Hare Today, Gone Tomorrow
by Raha
Summary: The year is 1965, and Crusade against Communism still rages on in Vietnam, but there's something rotten in the military, and meanwhile, for no reason at all, toons have begun to disappear. More Inside. Rated T for later chapters. Coverart by nightwing1975.
1. Disappearances

**Looney Tunes **

**Hare Today, Gone Tomorrow  
**

**Chapter One: Disappearances**

**BOOK ONE **

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**Summary: The year is 1965, and the Crusade against Communism still rages on in Vietnam, but there's something rotten in the military, and meanwhile, for no reason at all, toons have begun to disappear. However, Bugs "Playboy" Bunny has bigger problems to worry about when his new love interest, the daughter of none other than Roger and Jessica Rabbit, won't even give him a tumble. **

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**1956**

**Toontown****, California**

Bugs Bunny awoke with a start and looked around in disoriented confusion. The first thing his foggy mind noticed was that the clock read 10:55. But wait, that wasn't right, she never let him sleep that late…

"Hon…?" he called drowsily. "Honey? You dere?" **_  
_**

No answer, but for the echoes of his own voice wandering forlornly back to him where it slunk under his bed. Bugs yawned and stretched, slowly crawling out from under the covers and rubbing sleep-sanded eyes, making his way towards the bathroom. A quick ten minutes later found Bugs standing in the middle of the kitchen, staring at an empty table and wondering where breakfast was.

_Where is she…?_ he wondered, scratching an ear, an uneasy feeling beginning to twist itself into knots deep within his gut. It was then that he spotted the note, scrawled in her familiar neat hand on pink stationary, lying next to the tea-pot.

He picked it as if in a daze and stared at it for a moment, not really reading, but waiting for his vision to focus. Then finally the words swam together and Bugs sat down, nursing a cup of carrot tea.

_Bugsy,   
_

_If you're reading this then I ought to tell you it's late and that you should be in bed, young man. As for me, I couldn't sleep. You needn't worry, I noticed we're out of milk, so I went to the store and I should be back way before you wake up (or rather when _I_ wake you up) and stumble your way down here. This is just in case you _do_ come down before I get back and worry yourself to death. We certainly wouldn't want that, now do we? More than likely, though, I'll be back under the covers before you know I'm gone   
_

_Hugs and kisses,   
_

_Honey _

Bugs put the note down, went to the refrigerator, and opened the door. It was nearly a full minute before he could process that something very important to his happiness was missing.

The milk was gone.

All that was left was an empty carton, and for a moment it resembled Bugs's mind as he tried to digest the fact that the love of his life had never come back home.

About the same time Bugs was sitting in the Burbank police station reporting Honey Bunny's disappearance to the yawning, obviously disinterested, police, elsewhere, in Sacramento California, another rabbit, of no relation to the Warner star, stood before Foster's Home for Animated Friends.**_  
_**

Rosette Rabbit stared up at the large cement building, solemnly reading the words carved above the door. At the moment, her uncle Murphy Rabbit was searching his pockets for a pack of cigarettes and his lighter so he didn't have to make eye contact with her.

"I'm sure you'll be much happier here, than you would with me," he was saying gruffly, his ragged ears twitching with something that may have been guilt. "I mean, I know your dad left you in my care if anything happened, you know, but… I can't take care of a kid right now, I can barely take of myself… you understand, right kid?

"My name is Rosette, Murphy," Rosette told him evenly.

"Uh… right," Murphy muttered, shifting his feet uneasily under her accusing stare. "Well, y'see my problem, don'cha? I mean, I'm sorry Roger ditched you—"

"My father did not _ditch_ me," Rosette cut him off coldly. "And neither did mom."

"Oh… right, yes, well… Er, sorry," Murphy stammered, trying not to show just how much he doubted that. "Well, anyway, since Roger and Jessica… er, disappeared I know you're my responsibility now, but when I agreed to take you… Hell, kid—sorry, Rosette—that was years ago! I didn't think it would actually _happen_, and back then I was better off, and maybe if things were different…"

"Yes, perhaps if you'd actually finished college and pursued a well-paying career, and not wasted away your life boozing, then neither of us would be in this predicament," Rosette said bitingly, and the other toon pulled uncomfortably at one of his long, ragged ears.

"Hmph… Well, go on then, they're expecting you," he said, handing Rosette her small brown satchel of belongings, hopped into the waiting cab, and just like that he was gone. Rosette stood and watched him disappear in the distance, then turned and trudged up the steps towards the large double doors to pull the bell and wait for her abrupt new life to begin.

_To be continued... _

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**Disclaimer: This is just silly. If I owned any part of the Looney Tunes, I wouldn't be writing fanfiction, now would I? Or wouldn't I? Hmmm… In any case, I don't own them so I guess we'll never know, now will we? Ha! Take that. In addition, I do not own Roger Rabbit or Jessica. I do, however, own Rosette and for that fact I am quite proud. **

Hello, and welcome to yet another of my glorious fanfictions! I hope you all enjoyed it and appreciated my divergence from the horribly twisted and morose stories that I seem to have been writing lately. I certainly need a break from all the angst, and Looney Tunes was obviously the best choice, so that's my reason for writing this. That, and Bugs Bunny is my hero, and Daffy Duck is full of awesome.

Please review, as always, and I'll give you a (proverbial) penny for our thoughts. But if you say ANYTHING bad at all (not that you will, of course) I will hunt you down even into the afterlife and when I find you whatever is left of me is gonna kick whatever is left of your spectral ass. So be forewarned.

No, I kid, it's cool. I've just always wanted to say that. Hoorah for me. And hoorah for Valery, who once again made an appearance in a second story, the other being my Fruits Basket saga, _Tohru's Demons_. Now she's manifested as Victoria Vixen, so look forward to seeing more of her, cause she's just that cool. Seriously, I have no words to describe just how awesome she really is. Can you tell we're best friends?

That's all for now, folks.

Raha


	2. The Puns Were Intended

**Looney Toons**

**Hare Today, Gone Tomorrow**

**Chapter Two: The Puns Were Intended**

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**1965**

**Burbank, California**

**Warner Brother's Studio**

A toon could be squashed flat by a falling piano, struck by lightning, hit on the head with an anvil, vaporized into a pile of dust, diced into cubes, blown up at least fifteen different ways and still walk away in the end completely unharmed.

But to break a toon's heart was a far different matter, and they never really lost the scars. Daffy Duck knew this first hand, having had his own heart broken a multitude of times by various female crushes, and certainly Bugs knew it.

Honey had never been found; there was no ransom note if she had been kidnapped, no body if she had been murdered, no phone calls if she was alive, and no sign at all that the police were doing anything to help—but that didn't surprise anyone, really. The cops never were very enthusiastic when it came to just another lost, little toon. After nine long years, Bugs Bunny was a different rabbit, far more cynical, reserved, and detached, with a brashness that disregarded any care a (relatively) sane toon might have for his life. Of course, this only made him all the more popular, much to Daffy's vexation, but still the duck worried about him, at times—when he wasn't worrying himself sick over his own loveless situation, that is. Bugs, however, had the unfortunate tendency to alienate any girls Petunia set him up with to such a point the pig had simply given up playing matchmaker, leaving their friend and his unhappy existence in peace.

Daffy, on the other hand, was not one to quit (much less know the meaning of the word), despite how very hopeless things looked. It was his firm belief, though he would never admit it for as long as he lived, that if Bugs Bunny himself could not keep a steady girl-friend, then there was no hope on earth for a little black duck, despite how famous said duck was. And he, as always, had a plan...

We are now cutting to a different scene. Do not worry; your beloved Looney Tunes will return shortly. Sorry for the inconvenience.

"Rosette! Wake up!"

Rosette let out a surprised cry and jumped, tumbled, and landed hard on the floor with a groan. Somewhere above her someone was laughing.

"Dammit—Vic—what in the world…?"

Victoria Vixen, a busty, curvaceous red fox with a perpetual mischief in her blue-green eyes, leaned over her knees and grinned widely at the rabbit sprawled on the floor at her feet. Dangling from her fingers was Rosette's alarm clock.

"You're going to be late, sleepy head, if you don't get a move on," the fox informed her cheerfully. "It's already nine-thirty-nine."

"What!" Rosette squealed, leaping to her feet and racing into the bathroom of her one bedroom flat.

"Better skip the shower today, Rosey," Vic called from the kitchen, helping herself to whatever was in the fridge.

"Don't call me Rosey," Rosette said distractedly, buttoning up a white collared shirt. Fishing in her drawer she pulled out a knee-length black skirt, and forest green vest, finishing off the ensemble with a red cravat. Then she brushed her teeth, ran a comb through her hair, and finally emerged into the living room to find Victoria lounging on the sofa and flipping channels.

"Ready?" Vic asked, switching the telly off and getting to her feet. "You have your sheet music for today? Your guitar?"

"Yes, mother," Rosette replied, swiping a manila folder off the table and slinging her electric guitar over her shoulder. "Come on."

"Okay, race you there, and loser gets to do my laundry!" Vic called, bolting out the door.

"Hey!" Rosette shouted. "I'm not going anywhere _near_ your dirty panties!"

But Victoria was long gone, and with a long-suffering sigh Rosette hurried after her, just remembering to lock the door behind her. A minute later, she hurtled out into the street and quickly made her way down the sidewalk towards the Warner Brother's studio lot, and the music studio therein. If there was one thing her mother had passed down to her (though several males would contest it was certainly not the only thing), it was her musical talent—a thousand times fold. From the age of three, when she got big enough to reach the keys on the piano or prop up a guitar, she had been playing, and singing since before she could speak in complete sentences, and composing since before she'd reached first grade.

When Rosette was twelve, four years after her uncle had dumped her at Foster's Home for Animated Friends, she had wandered into the Warner lot, quite by accident, and found herself drawn to the music studio by the notes drifting through the windows. It was not long before she was seated at the piano in a seemingly empty room and singing her heart out, and found, much to her surprise, that she had gathered quite an audience by the time she had finished. It just so happened that the director of the Warner orchestra had been present, and he offered her a job on the spot, which she had gratefully—if bemusedly—accepted.

"Good morning, Rosette," the Warner studio guardsman greeted as she trotted through the gate.

"Morning, George!" she called over her shoulder as she bolted onwards. But then she was brought up short. Pausing to catch her breath, she swept an eye over the scene taking place in her way and concluded she wouldn't be getting through any time soon. A large crowd of spectators had gathered, blocking the road completely, and very nearly blocking her view of the commotion two toons were causing in the middle of the throng, each making as much noise and drama as was possible. Rosette paused only momentarily, and then slipped on by a very familiar rooster who was proclaiming, loudly, how ridiculous the whole affair was. Foghorn Leghorn gave her no heed as she pushed passed him, and then she was clear of the mob and looking around for a detour.

"Ah, there we go," she murmured, spotting a ladder, leaning forgotten against the side of a building. The music department was just beyond, and a quick climb and drop and she might even make it there before Victoria. Wasting no time, she scrambled up onto the roof, dashed across, and without a second thought, jumped over the edge.

Rosette only realized too late that she should have probably looked where she was leaping first, seeing as someone was walking directly into her landing site.

We now return to the Tunes. Thank you for your patience, and have a nice day.

"Bugsth, you need to get yoursthelf a girl," Daffy ordered bluntly as way of greeting as Bugs approached. His aforementioned plan to get Bugs back into the game of love, as indicated twenty paragraphs ago, was, unsurprisingly, to annoy him until the rabbit agreed. Surely, it was bound to work.

"Good morning to you, too, Daff," Bugs replied flatly with a look of exasperation, wondering if he should just run away now and spare himself the aggravation. Yes, the plan would work...with a bit of effort.

"I'm stheriousth," Daffy insisted seriously. "One of thesthe daysth you're gonna wake up an old bunny, all alone, and realisthe what a wasthte your life hasth been, and you'll have no one to blame but yoursthelf."

"Well, t'anks for dat, I'll log dat away," Bugs replied sarcastically. "Now, for da final time, Daff, we're immortal, an' I wake up alone every day and feel just fine."

"Oh, _sure_ you do," the duck sneered. "And I'm marrying a fairy princessth."

"Oh, really? Am I invited to the wedding?" the rabbit wanted to know.

"Of coursthe you're not invite—dammit, rabbit! Cut that out!"

Bugs gave a dry chuckle and chewed a carrot he'd pulled from behind his back.

"But I'm not kidding around, now," Daffy growled irritably.

"But you were before?"

"NO! Now listhten, rent a hooker for all I care, justht get a broad."

"I'm not gonna hire a prostitute!" Bugs cried. "Dey have germs, you know."

"Then find sthomeone that sthuits your fancy. Look… I know losthing Honey wasth hard, it wasth for all of usth, but that wasth nine yearsth ago. It'sth time to move on, Bugsth."

"You t'ink so…?" Bugs murmured quietly after a moment's silence. "Well, perhaps... Wait a minute, why do you care so much about dis anyways?"

"Oh—why do I—Well—er, I've justht noticthed how…how _down_ you've stheemed lately, and I thought a good girl might brighten thisth lugububriousth mood of yoursth," Daffy said quickly with a slightly nervous laugh and broad, toothy grin. Bugs cocked a dubious eyebrow at the duck and shook his head.

"Daff, you of all people must know good dames just don't fall outta da sky—"

"LOOK OUT!"

"What da—?"

Bugs stopped in his tracks, his head snapping up just in time to receive a face-full of something yellow, furry, and delightfully soft. However, the force with which this thing hit him was enough to send him on a one way trip head-first into the asphalt. Thereafter followed several moments of disorientation and trying to figure out whose limbs were whose, but Bugs gathered his wits about him and struggled into a half-way sitting position, coughing and winded and incredibly put out. It was not every day someone got the drop on him, and whoever this person was they would definitely pay for bruising his dignity.

"Clumsy, harebrained, imbecilic wretch, why don't ya watch where you're goin'—"

It was then that he paused and got a good look at the creature that had plowed into him, and the moment he truly set eyes on her he could have sworn his heart stopped.

Oh glory, she had curves like an hourglass, elegant, refined, and made all the more desirable by her trying, vainly, not to be pretty. She gazed straight down into him with these arresting, deep chocolate brown eyes, flecked with gold and bright with intelligence. However, she differed from the other female rabbits he'd met over the years; for one, she was missing the buck-teeth most rabbits never did without—though somehow this failed to make her any less adorable, and in fact, it made her more so. Secondly, she possessed a full head of hair, not the usual tuft of fur between the ears, but honest-to-goodness russet locks that brushed just past her shoulders. As far as coloration went, her light golden fur, soft as chinchilla, caught the light in such way it seemed to make her glow. But aside from the dashes of brown that tipped her toes, tail, and ears—one of which flopped permanently—she didn't appear to have any other distinguished markings.

She was simply breath-taking; there were no other words for it, as the fact that she was currently straddling his stomach had in no way affected the fact that he was completely breathless.

Almost immediately, far too soon if you asked him, she gasped and shot to her feet, looking very regretful—Bugs liked to think it was because she felt she had to get off him.

"I am _so_ sorry about that," she said quickly, offering a hand to help him to his feet. "I didn't expect anyone to be here when I jumped off the roof."

"It's…no problem," Bugs relied in a daze, grasping her hand and standing. He noticed she was several inches shorter than he, and concentrated on not grinning like a fool. Daffy, on the other hand, had no such qualms; his grin wrapped practically around his head.

"I see," replied she, raising her eyebrows. "So I suppose you were merely joking when you called me a clumsy, harebrained, imbecilic wretch?"

Bugs blinked, wondering how on earth anyone could call this animated masterpiece anything less than wonderful before he realized what she meant. Then he gave a weak laugh and shook his head.

"No, no, ya got me all wrong!" he cried, dipping into a dramatic, extravagant bow, and reached over to grab Daffy's arm. "_I_ wasn't da ta say dat, it was dis foul-feathered (pun intended) fiend who offended your pretty ears. I, however, am a rabbit of honor, t'would be a terrible t'ing for me ta insult a lady such as yourself."

"Oh, no you don't, long-earsth," Daffy snorted, shaking Bugs off and giving the little bunny—she couldn't have been older than seventeen, he guessed—a far more dignified bow and a dashing, debonair smile.

"Excusthe my friend here, he'sth a chronic liar," the duck informed her in mock-seriousness, his black eyes dancing. Bugs discreetly stamped on his foot.

"What's yer name, kid?"

"Rabbit. Rosette Rabbit," she answered, smiling. "And I'd love to stay and chat, but I should be getting to work now. Nice running into you, Mr. Duck, Mr. Bunny."

"Don't you mean crashing into usth?" Daffy muttered, not quite serious.

"Polite little t'ing, ain't cha?" Bugs said with a lop-sided grin. "You can call us Bugs and Daffy, Miss Rabbit."

"Don't you mean Daffy and Bugs?" Daffy asked. Bugs ignored him.

"Then call me Rosette. See you around," she said cheerfully, slipped past the two, and was gone.

"I boin! I pine! I perish!" Bugs exclaimed elatedly once she had disappeared around a corner. "Oh boy, Daff, I may just take ya up on your woid about dose dames."

"Hell, if you don't I will," Daffy smirked.

"But she's a rabbit."

"No, really?" Daffy gasped, clapping a hand to his cheek and staring at Bugs in wide-eyed surprise. "Why, I had no idea!"

"Daff, I t'ought you hated rabbits?"

"In her case, I think I'd be willing to forget that little fact. She'sth not asth flashy asth other girlsth, though, isth she? That'sth sure to make it a bit more difficult for you, I'd sthay."

"Dat shouldn't be too much of a problem," Bugs said confidently.

"Confident, aren't you?" Daffy snorted.

"You're just now noticing dis?"

"No, I knew it from the sthecond I sthet eyesth on that sthanctimoniousth, holier-than-thou facthe, rabbit."

"Dis coming from da duck who t'inks he's da reason da sun comes up?"

"I'll have you know I think so sthuch thing; that would be old Foggy Leghorn you're talking about," Daffy corrected him with an indignant sniff. Bugs snorted and shook his head as they arrived at the studio.

"G-g-g-g-goo-ga-good m-m-morn-ma-morn-oh drat-_hello_!" Porky Pig called, waving them over to where he and a few of the others had gathered. Petunia was sitting next to him and smiled as Bugs and Daffy came near. Sylvester offered a grin and a nod, nursing a cup of coffee, and reading the paper around Tweety, as the little bird was currently seated in the middle of the comics section.

"Morning," Bugs greeted as Daffy threw himself into a chair and called for a cappuccino. "So, what's up for today?"

"Apparently we're sstharting work on a mussthical number," said Sylvester. "The orchesthtra jusstht finished with it yesthterday. They sthaid they'd deliver it thisth morning…"

"Good, then I have time ta tell ya da news," Bugs said, grinning almost from ear to ear.

* * *

Rosette walked into the music studio panting and breathless, but nonetheless victorious; Victoria had yet to walk through the door. Smiling, she leaned over her knees to catch her breath, her mind still buzzing from what had happened. Vicky was going to have a field day when she heard the news.

"Oy, Rabbit!"

Rosette looked up and spotted her manager—a huskish man in his forty-somethings with a large mustache—making his way towards her, his arms filled with stacks of paper and his red face looking harassed.

"Mr. Bennet?"

"Here," Bennet said, shoving the papers into her arms. "Take these down to the Tunes' studio, it's for their musical number. Be back here in fifteen minutes, pronto."

"I live to obey," she replied brightly—the sarcasm was lost on him—and dashed off.

* * *

"That's wonderful, Bugs!" Petunia cheered in delight, beaming. He and Daffy had just finished with telling them about Rosette, and the Tunes were more than a little happy to see their long-eared friend in such high spirits.

"Yeah, and she just fell out of nowhere," Bugs said. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say she was an Angel—she's coitainly pretty enough."

"Yesth, well, I'm ssthorry to tell you thisth, but I think she'ssth out of even _your_ league, Bugsth," Sylvester said with a knowing little smile.

"You willing ta put money on dat?" Bugs challenged with a cocky smirk. "You forget, I'm Bugs Bunny. I'll bet you fifty bucks she'll be crazy for me by da end of da week," he bragged, not noticing as the very girl in question came quietly up behind him. His friends, however, certainly noticed and fell deathly silent, watching as Bugs dug his own grave.

"I mean, ya should have seen da way she was lookin' at me, I was afraid she was gonna t'row herself on me any minute!"

Rosette raised an eyebrow and gave Bugs an incredulous look, unutterably unsurprised, but nevertheless ultimately disgusted.

"Why, Bugs, how could you tell?" she asked mockingly. Bugs let out a yelp, nearly jumping out of his skin, and whipping around so fast he fell out of his chair.

"Oh yes, I _want_ you, I _need_ you, oh baby oh baby," Rosette deadpanned, giving the rabbit an annoyed look as if he were a fly that needed squishing. The other Tunes snickered.

"Hey, R'ette," Sylvester greeted, waving cheerfully.

"Hello, Sly," Rosette responded, her friendly demeanor returning as she looked at the cat. "Here's the music for the show."

"Ah, thankssth," Sylvester said as Rosette set the papers on a table next to Tweety, who found even his little heart accelerating. She wasn't no bird, but there was definitely something appealing about her.

"Good luck you guys," she said encouragingly and walked away.

"Ah—wait, Rosette!" Bugs called, scrambling up and hurrying after her.

"That's Miss Rabbit to you, and how much you willing to bet I won't shove that music down your throat if you come one step nearer?" Rosette said, giving him a venomous grin over her shoulder. "Fifty bucks, perhaps?"

Bugs stopped dead, his mouth working as he tried to come up with something in his defense.

"I was only…" he began feebly.

"Joking?" Rosette finished, pivoting fully and taking a step forward. "Of course you were, I wouldn't expect otherwise from a mewling, sanctimonious, conceited cad such as yourself. Now let's get something straight here: even without this little episode I would never go out with you on the grounds that you are a womanizing wretch and I refuse to be just another girl in your harem."

By this time she had Bugs backed up so far he tripped over his fallen chair and now lay sprawled at her feet, staring up at her with something akin to awe-stuck terror. She leaned down so close their noses almost touched, and suddenly the air was charged, and she was glaring daggers right into his heart—

When suddenly she reached up and honked his nose.

"Pun intended," she laughed. Then she straightened again, waved at the other Tunes, turned on her heel and sauntered away with all the pride and dignity of a queen. He was so shocked that it was a few moments before Bugs realized his friends were cheering.

_To be continued…_

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**Disclaimer: Again, I in no way earn any royalties off the Looney Tunes which would imply that I completely and unutterably do not own them. I wish I did, though, so I could make more cartoons and put them on Cartoon Network so there'll be _something_ good to watch besides Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends (which I ripped by the way-and don't own either. Can you tell?). **

Good morning Japan! Or good afternoon, good evening, and good night United States, Canada, Mexico, Panama, Haiti, Jamaica, Peru, or any other country you might be hailing from. This is indeed the SECOND installment of _Hare Today, Gone Tomorrow_! Surprising, isn't it? Like most of my other stories—except perhaps _MinDementia_—this story will soon get delightfully complicated, so hold onto your hats, your glasses, your butts, your bills and anything else that is prone to fall off during this most bumpy ride.

Again, please give me reviews! They brighten my day with their encouraging words of encouragement, and I greatly appreciate it, as it is rather hard to type in the dark. Also, please report any spelling or grammar errors—unless they were intentional and if so, and I say this with the utmost respect, shaddup.

Also, I would like to thank my wonderful editor, Valery, who once again appeared in one of my stories, this time as Victoria Vixen. I take my hat off to you, Val! Give her a standing ovation for being full of wonderfulness! Go on, start clapping!

Keep Toland and his crayons away Citizen Kane!

Raha


	3. Twitterpation

**Looney Tunes**

**Hare Today, Gone Tomorrow**

**Chapter Three: Twitterpation**

* * *

"Daffy, you believe in love at foist sight?"

"No," Daffy snorted as if the answer was obvious and Bugs was an idiot for asking such a question.

"Neider do I," Bugs chuckled softly. "But I believe in lust at foist sight, and boy, have I fallen hard."

"Twitterpated much, Thumper?" the duck muttered snidely as they made their way out of the studio, having finished shooting for the day. Bugs only grinned, feeling lighter than he had in a long time, so light in fact he thought he might simply lift right off the ground and start walking on air; the dizziness was certainly not helping, making him wonder if his head might begin spinning. He hadn't been able to get Rosette out of his head all day, and it made him want to do somersaults every time he thought about her. He'd had to stop after the fifth time, though, as the director hadn't appreciated it very much.

"I told you before Bugssth," Sylvester said as he came up behind them. "You better forget about that one, she'ssth out of your reach."

"How do ya know dat?" Bugs asked.

"I know her, that'ssth how," the cat replied. "She'ssth a firecracker, and you've already shortened her fussthe enough asth it issth. I'd leave her alone and not push my luck, if I were you."

"Well, you ain't," Bugs pointed out. "'Sides, why wouldn't she like me?"

"You did come off asth a mewling, sthanctimoniousth, conctheited cad," Daffy said.

"Don't forget a womanithing wretch," Sylvester added, laughing.

"Give 'er a day ta cool off, den we'll see," Bugs told them, with a self-assured, sanguine smile. "No goil can toin down Bugs Bunny."

"Oh no, not when sthaid buck'sth got about a billion baby bucksth in the bank," Daffy put in blithely.

"Dat's a dangerous declaration ta dabble in, duck," Bugs quipped deftly, and grinned as Daffy stuck his tongue out at him.

"Sthmart-assth alliteration asthide," the duck went on, "I'm with Sthylvesthter on thisth one; there isth no way thisth isth going to turn out good. For one, thisth is a kid, Bugsth. There hasth to be at leastht a ten year age differencthe there. I knew you liked younger women, but thisth isth justht ridiculousth."

"When has age evah maddahed ta toons?" Bugs asked.

"Well, with casthes like Granny'sth…"

"Dat's not de same t'ing," the rabbit argued impatiently. "She's always looked like dat. I mean as far as time goes, it don't maddah in de end."

"Not with thosthe that were drawn, no," Sylvester said. "But it'ssth different for toonssth that were born."

"Ya point bein'?"

"We were adultssth when we came off the page, but R'ette'ssth had a childhood, and she'sth sthtill jusstht a kid," Sylvester replied patiently. "Maturity levelsth notwithsthtanding, all I'm sthaying isth to take it eassthy, if she'sth what you want. She cthertainly won't be eassthy on you, though," he added with a chuckle.

"Well, dis liddle jaunt won't be want for excitement, den," Bugs smiled. "I always liked a challenge, anyways. She's part'a de oichestra, right?"

"Yeah," Sylvester replied. "But she doessthn't get off work till about eight."

"T'anks, Sly, dat's all I needed ta hear," Bugs said, plucking his car keys from out of no where and unlocking his car door. "Sayonara," he added, jumped in through the window, pulled out and was gone with a squeal of rubber.

"I hope he knowssth what he'sth doing," Sylvester sighed with a shake of his head.

"Even if he doesthn't, it'sth sure to be one hell of a show," Daffy grinned, patting the cat on the back before they too went their separate ways.

* * *

"That's enough for today," Anderson Bennet called as the Warner Orchestra let the last few notes drift away and set down their instruments. "Nice work, everyone. Until tomorrow, then."

"What was that thing you wanted to tell me about?" Victoria Vixen asked as she packed away her instrument—a shining silver French horn—and looked inquisitively at Rosette. The rabbit slung her guitar over her shoulder, a shimmer of a smile playing about her mouth.

"Oh, just that I met Daffy Duck and Bugs Bunny," she replied casually. Victoria's jaw literally hit the floor with a clang and she stared at Rosette in bewildered shock for a moment before shaking her head, snapping her eyes back into her sockets.

"Why is it that you did not inform me of this sooner!" she shouted shrilly once she'd retrieved her voice once more. "If this happened two weeks ago and you're just now telling me, I swear I'm gonna—"

"No, no, don't worry I met them this morning," Rosette laughed, waving her hand in an attempt to calm the riled fox, and reached out to smooth her ruffled fur. At this a slow grin spread across Victoria's muzzle and she threw a friendly arm around Rosette's shoulder.

"So, what happened? Give me all the dirty details."

"Nothing of _that_ sort happened, and you know it," Rosette deadpanned. "I fell on him, actually."

"You what?" Victoria cried, her dark eyes dancing with mirth. "Who? How?"

"You remember that mob this morning?"

"How could I forget?" the fox replied, a hint of sourness seeping into her rich voice. "I was stuck in the middle of that nightmare for nearly twenty minutes—I would have beat you if I hadn't been."

"Well, I found a short cut around that whole mess, or rather above it. See, I found a ladder and got up on the roof, except when I jumped down on the other side guess who's walking into my landing site."

"Tall, grey, and haresome?"

"Oh, very punny," Rosette snorted dryly and the vixen grinned proudly. "But yes, and I landed on him hard enough to make him kiss the ground."

Victoria chuckled with impish delight. "What'd he do?"

"Well, I certainly got his attention," Rosette said, grinning ruefully and tugging at one of her ears. "Once he got a good look at me… well, let's just say that if I wasn't sitting on it his heart would have started pounding a foot out of his chest."

"You sure that was the only thing pounding a foot—"

"That is so dirty I'm not even going to let you finish the sentence," Rosette cut her off sharply, thoroughly disgusted—yet she could not help but hide a grin.

"Tell me, did he have hearts in his eyes?"

"The size of quarters."

Victoria squealed in delight. "He was checking out your package, wasn't he?"

"Victoria!"

"Well of course he was—I'll bet those eyes of his made sweet, sweet love to you—"

"Will you stop that already? Sheesh, I've been hanging around with you for so long I'm surprised I haven't been corrupted and become a lecher myself."

"Yet," Victoria said, grinning with dark playfulness, while her hand inched its way up Rosette's leg. "I'm still working on bringing you over to my side."

"Down, girl," Rosette snorted, pulled out a water pistol filled with jelly and blasted her friend square in the face. Victoria let out a shriek of disgust before the several tons of pressure hurled her through a wall. Rosette gently blew on her gun's smoking muzzle before stuffing it of sight and walking over to survey the wreckage. She found Victoria on her head, her legs splayed out at a ninety degree angle, and covered from head to toe in grape flavored goo.

"I hate you," Victoria growled, righting herself and grimacing at Rosette's look of smug satisfaction.

"Just be glad I didn't fill it with hair-dye this time."

"Like I did with this one?" Victoria asked, holding up an identical pistol and taking aim. Rosette stared down the barrel in horror, her eyes growing huge and her ears drooping, the word 'DOOMED' appearing in large block letters above her head.

"Uh—" she managed to squeak before she was propelled across the room by at least fifty feet before landing in a chair that spun wildly out of control, then eventually toppled over and dumped her into a set of bass drums. "Ohhhhh….." she moaned, just as the drum sticks conked her on the head, one after another.

"Hey, watch it!" Bennet barked angrily, storming over to them. "That stuff's expensive, dammit!"

Immediately the two toons adopted twin looks of innocent guilt, staring up at him with big eyes and scuffing their toes.

"Sorry, sir." They chorused, at least pretending to be appropriately ashamed of themselves.

"Well, you didn't damage anything," he said gruffly, disregarding the enormous hole in the wall, and looking well-used to this sort of thing. "Just don't let it happen again, got it?"

"Got it, Sir!" the two miscreants barked, clicking their heels together, puffing out their chests, and saluting smartly. Bennet grunted, satisfied, and moved off. Victoria dropped the act at once and turned to grin devilishly at Rosette, whose fur was now a delightful shade of aqua-marine.

"Hare-dye, get it?" she asked and then laughed like a maniac.

"Yeah, it was to _die _for," Rosette muttered, which only made Victoria laugh harder.

"Oh right, laugh it up, you just better hope this stuff isn't permanent, or I'm gonna—"

"Oh…haha... don't worry, sweetie…heeheehee... it'll wash out," Victoria said between guffaws. "So… so, then what happened?" she gasped, finally able to pull herself together.

"Huh? Oh. Bugs and Daffy turned on the charm full blast and we exchanged introductions," Rosette continued. "Then I left."

"You _left_?"

"Let me finish. The minute I walked through the door, Bennet called me over and told me to deliver the Looney Tunes music number, you know the one we were working on for two weeks."

"Yes, and let me guess: you saw Bugs again, and in the same ten minutes no less! Please tell me you stayed long enough for the guy to throw himself at your feet and proclaim his undying love for you this time."

"Actually, I think he thought I was the one making declarations of love," Rosette snorted, her nose scrunching in distaste. "When I walked in he was bragging about how I was practically flinging myself at him...Well, I suppose that's sort of true, but not in the sense he meant. You know he bet I'd be crazy about him by the end of the week?"

"Really? How much?"

"Fifty bucks."

"Tch, that much? I would have bet a thousand."

At this Rosette shot her friend a scandalized look. "Victoria!"

"Wow, you've used my full name in the same ten minutes, that's a new record!" Victoria laughed merrily, then yelped when Rosette reached over and yanked her tail.

"Well, I would bet a thousand!" she protested, flattening her ears and pulling the appendage out of the rabbit's grasp. "You've loved that bunny since you were four."

"I liked his on-screen character, that doesn't mean I'd like his off-screen character as well," Rosette retorted. "Besides… Daffy's always been my favorite, anyway."

"He won't be for very long," Victoria snickered. "No girl's turned down Bugs Bunny once he's set his sights."

"Well, it certainly wasn't because of his charm," Rosette shot back.

"Oh? Then what was it, pray tell?"

"I can give you a billion reasons, and he's got them right in the bank."

"Not to mention all that fame, the mansions, the cars, and did I mention the fame?" Victoria added. "Alright, he may be a cocky little bastard, but that's a pretty forgivable fault when he's got all those other good qualities."

"What're you saying exactly?"

"I'm saying you should at least give the guy a chance—meaning you should introduce him to me, and if I approve we can go from there. You did it with my boyfriends, I see no reason why I shouldn't with yours. Well, if you ever get one, at any rate."

"Since when did I say we were dating?" Rosette demanded. "We're not even friends—in fact, I don't even like him. Besides, I believe I've made it clear that I would never date actors; they're far too much hassle to have to deal with."

"Really, I thought it was that you'd never date, period? But never mind that, this is Bugs Bunny we're talking about; you don't get a chance like this everyday, Rosey."

"Don't call me that! I've told you!"

"Alright, alright, but at least think about it?"

Rosette sighed, scowling slightly at the fox's pleading look, and shook her head.

"I know what'll happen—it'll last a month and then he'll drop me like yesterday's fad and pick up some new fling. Well, I'm not going to be just another one of his girls so quit looking at me like that," she said with quiet firmness, and crossed her arms as if that ended the matter.

"I'm not saying you should be just another girl," Victoria said. "I'm saying be _the_ girl."

Rosette paused for a moment, gazing side-long at the fox before releasing an exasperated breath filled with exasperated laughter and half a sigh. "I'll see you later, Vic," she said, embracing the fox fondly before they parted for the night.

_The following evening…_

The music studio was located on the far side of the Warner lot, exactly opposite from where Bugs and the other Tunes worked, but it still came as a small surprise to the rabbit that she had somehow escaped his attention for the past four years. Particularly since she was a toon—not a star—but he was at least acquainted with many of the residents in Toontown and found it odd that he hadn't even seen her. He was certain that if he had he would not have forgotten such a face in a hurry. She could have given even Jessica Rabbit a run for her money, and the fact that her name fit her species made the whole affair all the more delicious.

The present moment found Bugs waiting outside the music studio, standing off to the side in a bit of shade and watching quietly as people poured out the door on their way home. Most of them were human, but he spotted a fair number of toons carrying various instruments and chatting animatedly away. No one gave him any heed, and for that he was grateful—even on the studio people could get a little fanatic, and the last thing he wanted was to be surrounded by an impenetrable mob when Rosette finally made her appearance.

But as the minutes ticked by and the crowd dissipated into the growing evening, he began to get a little impatient as Rosette had yet to emerge.

_Maybe she left t'rough anoddah door…?_ He thought, checking his pocket watch, which informed him that it was a quarter past eight. He waited for another five minutes, and when no one else came out he approached the door and slipped inside. It was quiet, but for a few far off notes of music drifting down the hall to play and dance about his ears.

"Might you direct me ta Rosette Rabbit, please? I'd be much obliged," he told them politely. The notes laughed melodiously, twirling on invisible currents, before they turned and echoed back the way they had come, Bugs following in their wake. The inanimate were not very intelligent, but even they responded positively when treated with the proper respect.

Before long, they had led him to a door near the very back of the building, and there they faded away just as more notes came to take their place. Bugs paused, his fingers resting on the handle, and peered through the small window into a room about the size of a large closet.

She was alone, seated in front of a piano (which accounted to why the room looked so suffocating) and her fingers flew across the keys like Broadway dancers, her notes skipping and bobbing and jumping to the rhythm. She didn't hear him enter, or look up when he slipped quietly inside and padded right up behind her, ears perked forward in captivated wonderment. The piece wasn't something he recognized, but there was something about it that set fire to his heart and sent a thousand volts singing down his spine. When the last few chords melted away he felt he might nearly melt with them.

"These are private rooms, Mr. Bunny."

Bugs started and blinked, snapping back to reality to find Rosette staring levelly up at him.

"We back ta de formalities again?" he inquired with a grin.

"Well, what is it? You lost or something?" she asked in a world-weary tone.

"No, not at all. I was entranced by yer playin' and followed de sound here," he replied. "I didn't know you were dat good."

"I'm sure you didn't as you don't know anything about me at all," she answered coolly, gathering her sheet music and slipping past him, somehow managing it without them touching.

"Well I would if ya'd give me a chance," he replied, reaching out to hold the door for her. She shot him a scrutinizing glance as she walked past him, wondering if it was to win brownie points or if that was what he normally did, but he merely smiled back in return.

"Ya don't like me very much, do ya?" he asked.

"Was I that obvious?" Rosette retorted sarcastically.

"Will ya at least let me drive ya home?" Bugs counter-retorted.

"You move pretty fast, don't you?" she counter-counter-retorted.

"I have'ta, or else someone like Daffy will up an' snatch ya away from me," he chose to respond this time.

"Well, that won't pose much of problem to you as we were never together to begin with," Rosette pointed out. "And I'm sorry but I was told never to get in a car with strange rabbits."

"We ain't strangers!" Bugs protested.

"Fine, we're acquaintances and they're pretty much the same thing," replied she. "Besides, my home's within walking distance from here."

"Den permit me ta walk ya home."

"I assure you I can make it on my own, thank you. I've done so for the past four years, after all."

"Ah, but I insist," Bugs insisted. "What if somet'ing were ta happen t'ya?"

"What would you care?"

"Now, dat was cruel, of course I'd care. Den I'd actually have ta find a goil who'll at least have dinner wid me."

"If you could find one," Rosette snorted disdainfully, finally loosing some patience and turning to glare at the rabbit.

"See dat, dat right dere," Bugs grinned. "Why get affection when I can have blind hatred instead?"

Rosette looked at him like he was a first class idiot, and kept walking with a sigh of exasperation, shaking her head.

"Good night, Bunny."

"How many times do I gotta tell ya ta call me Bugs?"

"Well, if I did I'd be admitting there was some sort of relationship between us, and you're being bad enough without my encouraging you."

By this time they had stepped out into the summer night wind and were making their way across the empty lot. Bugs would have been lying if he'd said he wasn't a little unnerved as he'd never been on the studio after closing time, but Rosette seemed quite at home with the lonely, almost foreboding atmosphere. Bugs stuck close to her, hiding what uneasy feelings he had beneath a care-free grin.

"Well, dere must be somet'ing ya like about me," he said, not missing a beat.

"Apart from your oh-so-charming pig-headedness, nothing," Rosette informed him breezily. "And I thought I told you I didn't need you walking me home."

"I ain't walkin' ya home, I just happen ta be headed in de same direction, is all," he replied disarmingly. "Besides, dere's safety in numbers, ya know. Why don't ya tell me about yerself while we walk, just ta pass de time?"

"You never give up, do you?"

"Now, now, we're done talkin' about liddle ol' me," Bugs smiled.

"Well, that's a relief," Rosette sighed. Bugs laughed and gave her a prompting nudge.

"If I tell you something, will you leave me alone?" she asked.

"Dat depends on de somet'ing," he replied, smiling.

"I hate asparagus. There. Happy?"

"Dat's wonderful!" he cried. "I hate it, too! We got so much in common, it's like we were meant for eachoddah!"

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that, pal," Rosette muttered. "We're here, will you go away now?"

Bugs looked up at the stone apartment complex, about a block away from the Warner Studio lot, and recognized it as one the Warner Bros. rented out to their staff. He himself had lived here once, back in his early days before anyone had even heard of him.

"Well, dis brings back memories…" he murmured. Rosette, who had been unlocking the door, glanced back at him inquiringly. He grinned and gestured up at the building.

"I used ta live here, back in de good ol' days," he explained. "Before I got famous, ya know."

"Yeah, I know."

Bugs blinked, surprised, and raised his eyebrows in intrigue. "Oh? How's dat?"

"Because the landlord told me when he gave me the keys to your old room," she replied, and disappeared through the door before he could utter another word.

_To be continued…_

* * *

**Disclaimer: I denounce all claims to the Tunes, Looney or otherwise, and thus hereby effectively stave off the vicious, rabid, man-eating lawyers barking at my door.**

Hello and welcome to the third chapter of Hare Today, Gone Tomorrow. I hope you enjoyed it, and if you did don't hesitate to tell me so. Hopefully I'll get some more characters into the next chapter, though not all from the Looney Tunes cast, so look forward to more witty banter and wicked puns. Also, as I regrettably forgot to mention before, the title of this fanfic was not my own design, but was dreamt up by a good friend of mine, Starfleet Rebel. So thanks, Rebel (Hey, better late than never, right?).

In the words of Porky Pig,

That's all, folks!

Raha


	4. Rainy Days and a Golden Monkey

**Looney Tunes**

**Hare Today, Gone Tomorrow**

**Chapter Four: Rainy Days and a Golden Monkey**

* * *

**1956**

Roger Rabbit sat expectantly at the window seat, staring out into a silver September storm, and watching for who knew what anymore. Three year old Jenny Rabbit sat beside him, ruining a coloring book, but also keeping an eye on her dad. Nowadays, she didn't know what he was thinking, and she didn't want him wandering off and getting himself into trouble with the enemies.

She wished Rosette would hurry up with the groceries. She didn't like being all alone, with only the rain to listen to, and Roger rambling senselessly under his breath. Since Jessica had disappeared—it was almost a year ago now—it seemed as if his brain had been scrambled. He'd mutter nonsense constantly, become obsessed with finding his beloved, lock himself in his room for days, and always, always fear the enemies would come tear his door down any day.

To say the least, it scared his daughters to death. Since Roger refused to go outside anymore, Rosette had taken on the responsibility of shopping, begging money from their endless supply of relatives whenever she could, and without alerting them to the fact that something was wrong. They were in debt up to here, far past their ears. But Rosette refused to ask for help, or even tell anyone what was happening. She seemed as afraid of the enemies as Roger did, and although Jenny didn't know who or what the enemies were, that made her afraid of them, too. If they uttered a word about Roger, Rosette had said, the enemies would come and take him away.

Jenny looked at Roger. His eyes were fixed on some point just beyond the fence, looking down the lane. He was singing under his breath, a tune Jenny vaguely recognized some faceless woman sing to her before she went to sleep. Jenny reached out and tugged at Roger's pants.

"Daddy."

Roger startled and glanced blankly at her, blinking. He gave her a vacant smile before turning back to the window. Jenny scowled, but she was used to that. It took a while to really get Roger's attention now.

"Daddy," she persisted, tugging at his baggy, red pants. He turned to her again, gazing at her curiously. "I'm hungwy," she informed him. "When is W'ette gonna be hewe?"

"Soon…" Roger muttered, patting his daughter absently as he turned back to the window. "She'll be here soon…"

Jenny sighed and went back to coloring outside the lines. It was one of Rosette's old Looney Tune coloring books, half finished. The last picture she'd done was of a familiar lean, buck-toothed rabbit, not too far away from one carrot or another. Rosette had painted him blue, simply because that was her favorite color. Jenny shifted restlessly and set down her crayons, leaving the duck with only his bill filled (mostly) in, and stared out the window, searching down the lane for Rosette.

Down Coconut Avenue, past the drug store, beyond the empty church, past the school and the playground, further than the local bank, the video store, the vacant lot where the neighborhood kids gathered to play ball, and the Laundromat someone was prancing through that silver September storm.

Rosette Rabbit, eight years old, hurried through the rain, her arms full of groceries and trying to keep them from getting wet. She wanted to get home quickly, not just because of the weather, but because she was worried about Roger. More and more often, he was acting funny. Strange funny. Scary funny.

She remembered a time when he had been alright, when her mother was still around. But when Jessica had disappeared that night—it had been stormy then, too—Roger seemed to have snapped, and for a toon, that was saying something. Now he talked about the enemies all the time; that they had Jessica, and they would be coming for him and his kids. He'd made Rosette promise to stay away from people, to not trust anyone, for anybody could be on _their_ side…whoever they were.

Rosette skipped over a puddle, dodging to the side as a car zipped by, its horn blaring and throwing a wave of water in her direction as it sped by. Rosette turned to the side, shielding her cargo from the muddy splash, and quickened her pace. Roger had once told her never to run, that it would cause attention, but she didn't think anyone would think much of it to see a rabbit running pell-mell through the rain. Roger told her a lot of things not to do which would bring attention to herself.

Turning onto her street, she could see Roger's familiar face in the window, with little Jenny next to him, waving at her. Rosette smiled and ran faster, nearly flying across the street, and skidded to a stop in front of her door just as Jenny dashed to open it.

"Wosette!" Jenny cried delightedly. Roger stood behind her, smiling distractedly, his eyes darting up and down the street as he ushered her inside.

"Were you followed?" he asked. Rosette shook her head, almost automatically. He asked that question every time she went out. "No, dad. I wasn't."

Roger nodded, and shut the door quickly, bolting it before he turned back to her. By that time, Jenny had taken a bag and followed Rosette into their tiny kitchen. He padded after them, watching Rosette unload the groceries, scuffling his feet.

"You can put the milk in the fridge," Rosette told him, pointing to the carton. He smiled and nodded, glad to have something to do. He could barely do a thing on his own, anymore, without being told. His oldest watched him out of the corner of her eye as he fumbled shakily with the carton and totted it to the refrigerator, mentally breathing a sigh of relief that she was back home, and that nothing had happened.

About three months after her mother Jessica had disappeared, Rosette had first started to notice there was something wrong with Roger. It had only gotten worse as time went on, until Roger was almost completely unable to function on his own for sheer paranoia—of what, she didn't know anymore. At first, Rosette had thought this fear was directed at his enemies. He'd stopped acting, had stopped showing himself to the public, had simply withdrawn altogether.

They used to play a game. It was in the video store, when Roger still went outside now and then. It was when they went to rent movies. Roger would carry the basket, and Jenny and Rosette could pick any films they liked; only they had to put their movies in the basket when no one was looking.

"Is the coast clear?" he'd ask quietly. Rosette and Jenny would look around, pretending they were spies, and whisper back: "Coast clear." Then they would snatch their movie and throw it into the basket. They had done that many times, and although Rosette didn't know why, it was still fun, nonetheless. But then, the last time, Roger had forgotten his wallet, and suddenly he was hysterical. He swore the enemies had stolen it, that they knew who he was, where he lived, they were probably waiting at house to take him away…

Then he'd made them put all the movies back and they left with nothing. Later his wallet was found on the kitchen table, and the next morning the incident had appeared in the tabloids, in big bold letters: HAS THE MERRY-GO-ROUND BROKE DOWN FOR ROGER RABBIT?

After that Roger never went out again, and Rosette began to avoid the other children at school. They jeered about Roger; she'd already gotten into several fights over him. But…Rosette had begun to wonder if the enemies were not all in Roger's head, if he really had gone off the deep end, despite what she told her schoolmates. It was that day, she realized something important. She had thought, despite all his queer behavior, that Roger had been protecting them. The day she understood that what he was afraid of wasn't real, and she knew she had to protect _him_. The enemies he feared weren't the ones she was afraid of anymore, it was the people she knew would come for her dad, and take him away, if they knew he had lost his mind. And that was the last thing she wanted. It would have been disastrous, for all of them.

The groceries were put up, and Rosette pulled out a small dish of cat food from the cupboard. Fishing a can-opener from the drawer, she opened the lid and dumped the contents onto a small plate.

"Max," she called softly, making her to the back porch and sliding the glass door open. "Max, here kitty, kitty, kitty. I've got food for you."

A loud meow sounded from under the house, and very large, very fat, fluffy orange and white cat came mincing towards her. She grinned and set his food down, running a hand down his back while he put his entire face into his food and gustily inhaled it. He wasn't a toon, but he was a good cat nevertheless. She'd had him since he was a kitten, when he wandered in from out of nowhere.

Rosette turned back inside and settled on the couch to watch TV. Jenny crawled up next to her, curling up at her side, and snuggling close. Rosette smiled down at her and wrapped an arm around the little bunny. One thing must be said about Jenavelle Rabbit, and that is she was adorable. Like Roger, her fur was creamy white, with two delicate ears, a tuft of light strawberry blonde hair, and big doughy blue eyes. To say the least, it was impossible the resist the temptation to cuddle her.

Roger came to sit nervously on Rosette's other side, his ears and whiskers twitching continuously. Rosette laid a hand on his, and he smiled with such trust at her, and such love, she knew she could never let anything happen to him.

"Don't worry," she told him. "You can relax."

Roger squeezed her hand, and anxiously leaned back into the sofa, turning to watch the telly as she flipped to the cartoons. Honestly, she didn't know why he had changed so drastically, or what exactly had caused it, but she knew that someday Roger would eventually get over whatever was bothering him, and then they would be happy again. Maybe her mom would even come back.

Rosette nudged closer to Roger, and he wrapped his arms instinctually around her, holding her safe and warm. She allowed herself a rare smile, and closed her eyes, drifting off into a dreamless sleep.

What felt like an instant later, she awoke with a start. She moaned and burrowed deeper into her pillow, but someone was shaking her insistently and softly calling her name. She looked up in bleary-eyed disorientation, and found Jenny standing anxiously next to her bed.

"Jenny…?" Rosette muttered. "Have a nightmare?"

"No," Jenny whispered. "W'ette, thewe's someone in the house."

"What?"

"Come on," Jenny said, tugging urgently at her hand. "W'ette, there's some people downstaiws! Daddy says they'we hewe to take him away!"

Rosette sat up, wide awake, and spotted Roger standing near the foot of her bed, wringing his hands worriedly and making little noises of distress. He looked terrified, staring at the door in near-frozen panic. Rosette was on her feet in an instant, and silently moved towards the hallway, peering out at the stairway. There were definitely people downstairs, murmuring in low voices that drifted lazily up to her, so she could her snatches of a conversation. She thought there might be two. One of them accidentally brushed against the kitchen table, there was a hiss, and everything went quiet a moment. Then the intruders began moving again. Moving towards the stairs.

"Hurry," Rosette whispered, hurrying back to Jenny and ushering her to the wardrobe. "Jenny I want you to stay in here, and whatever happens, whatever you hear, don't come out. Do you understand? Don't come out, Jenny."

Jenny nodded mutely, eyes wide with terror, and grabbed Rosette's legs fiercely. Rosette hugged her briefly, then gently pushed her behind the coats and shut the door. Tip-toeing back to the hall, she glanced outside before turning to look at Roger.

"Dad, get in the wardrobe with Jenny," she instructed.

"The letters!" he said in a panicked whisper, not moving. "They're looking for the letters!"

Rosette knew about the letters. Roger read them sometimes, late at night when he thought she was asleep, and for a while he would be normal again but that happened less and less often now. Rosette didn't know exactly what the letters were about, but she knew they were from Jessica—_after_ she had disappeared. Those letters were important.

"I'll get them," Rosette said. "Please, hide in the wardrobe now. They're coming."

Helplessly, Roger stared at the door, then scurried to the wardrobe and crawled in, pulling the doors shut behind him. He was too frightened now to do anything but obey.

"Hide in the coats," Rosette called to him softly, crouching next to the door and looking out into the hall once more. A dark figure, a human, stood at the end of the passage, just about to enter Jenny's room. The other one must have been waiting downstairs. Rosette waited until he was out of sight before dashing for the office just across from her sister's room. She knew where Roger kept the letters, and climbed up on the desk, pulling open a secret drawer and drawing out a small, leather satchel. There was a hefty lock on the case, and only Roger had the key, which he carried around at all times.

Rosette jumped down from the desk, and froze. The man had finished his search of Jenny's room and was standing just outside the office. She could see his shadow under the door, and watched as the knob began to turn. There was no place to hide; he certainly would find her if she tried it. Clutching the satchel to her chest, she went to crouch just beside the door, and waited.

Slowly, the door inched open, and the black silhouette of a man stood before her, peering into the dark. She moved the very instant he sensed there was someone else in the room; with a cry, she erupted from her hiding place and bolted past him into the hallway, knocking roughly against his leg.

Neither of them had seen the cat. Max had slipped in behind the two men when they'd snuck inside. He'd followed the man upstairs, wanting food, and had just been about to rub up against his legs when Rosette crashed into him. His feet got tangled up with the cat, and as Max yowled, he toppled over. As if in slow motion, Rosette saw him stagger backwards against the banister, his center of gravity overthrown—and then he went over.

Rosette hit the balustrade half a second later, propelled by her own inertia, and saw him land on his head with a muffled crack. If he had been a toon, it might have been funny. But he wasn't. Toons didn't make the awful sounds this man was. Toons didn't twitch or roll their eyes. Toons didn't break their necks.

Nothing about _this_ was funny, and when he finally went still five awful minutes later, Rosette knew he was dead.

* * *

**Nine years later…**

**1965**

She was being followed. Rosette had been working late again that night, it was already nearing ten o'clock, and had spotted the two toon-wolves standing off in the shadows the moment she'd walked out the music studio. They were big fellows, and their soft footfalls had fallen in step with hers as she made her way across the lot, slapping wetly on the cement. A light drizzle was dewing up her fur, forming little droplets that ran down her whiskers and clung to her dress.

It was not that she wasn't used to being followed, being a rabbit with her figure, so she knew how to handle the situation. But there was a something that told her these toons weren't after her for quite the same reason most guys were. She thought it was their eyes. There was something wrong, unnerving, about their eyes.

Rosette went along at slightly faster pace, wondering what she should do. If worse came to worse, she could always drop an anvil on them. She ran through a list of actions silently as the footsteps came steadily closer. She was a little thing, barely three foot five, including her ears; these toughs topped at least five feet, and there were two of them. She certainly couldn't fight them off. Neither did they look like the sort that could be persuaded to go away. She could talk her way out of most anything, but right now her instincts told her, quite frantically, that wasn't an option.

Rosette flicked an ear casually back, listening. They were ten feet away now. She scanned the way ahead of her, weighing her options. Most of the surroundings buildings were dark, and locked up for the night. No refuge there. If she ran now, she probably wouldn't make it back to her apartment before they grabbed her. She was too far away from anywhere for anyone to hear her screaming. However, she did take comfort in the fact that if she went missing, at least Victoria would notice and sound the alarm. Too many toons nowadays disappeared, and no one knew what had happened until even weeks after, if at all.

She needed to disable them quickly, at least for a few seconds, and run like hell. She griped her guitar case both hands and waited. If she pretended she didn't know they were there, she might have a chance…

Now they were almost on top of her, one stealing up from behind and reaching out with a massive paw—

Abruptly, she gave an awful, ringing shriek, and whipped around, swinging her guitar case into his skull with full force. It met his face with a mind-staggering blow, and the wolf reeled back in surprise, grunting and holding his forehead, eyes shut tight in pain. The second wasted no time and lunged for her with a wordless snarl. Rosette jumped aside, and brought up her case to ram it in his gut. The toon uttered something between a yelp and a cough, and doubled over, mouth open and foaming as his swollen tongue flopped between rows of yellowed fangs.

For a fleeting moment, before she whirled on her heel and bolted, Rosette was brought up short by the stench of rotting meat on the wolf's breath, and a glimpse of his eyes. Wide and completely white, rolling in their sockets, they stared into nothing, they saw nothing, and there was nothing in his gaze. For one fleeting instant, an awful sensation struck the little bunny's heart, unfamiliar and frightening and full of strange sorrow, before she dashed off and away from those horrid, empty creatures. They weren't toons. They were something entirely different, and entirely wrong.

She was halfway across the lot before she knew it, but the wolves were gaining, coming up faster than she would have thought, and growling with an appalling, bloody lust. Rosette whimpered as a pain flared in her side, her muscles set aflame, her veins pumping battery acid as she pounded the cement. Then she saw the water tower, looming darkly ahead of her and without a thought she flew for it, the wolves hot on her heels, running on all fours like beasts.

Rosette's foot struck a rock and twisted out from under her. As if the world had suddenly slowed, she felt herself almost floating as she was flung forward, and then it sped up again when she hit the ground with a crunch. Her guitar flew through the air and skidded across the lot, coming to a stop near the tower's ladder. That gut-wrenching snarling was upon her, and Rosette turned in nearly paralyzed fright, bright eyes staring wildly as the wolves leapt at her—

She cried out wordlessly and hid her face, when suddenly, inexplicably, and from out of nowhere someone jumped over her and crashed headlong into the first wolf's jaws. There was a resounding _crack!_and the wolf let out an ear-piercing howl. Rosette pushed herself up on her hands and knees, and looked back in utter disbelief.

A golden monkey was standing before her. He was a toon, though his design she didn't recognize from any of the major animation industries. He stood there like some knight of old, garbed in a classy two-piece suit and top-hat, and holding his cane out in front of him like a sword. He glanced back at her, his face pitch black against gold fur that shimmered lustrously even in the rain. It was a gentle face, a kind face, handsome and bold and full of cunning strength.

One of the wolves snarled and lunged for him, but he moved too quick and struck the thing squarely between the eyes with his cane, lashed out at its legs, and snapped a solid blow into the middle of its back. Then with a skip and a dash he slammed his shoulder into the creature's throat and threw it bodily to the ground.

"Hurry, Miss!" he called over his shoulder as the second wolf hesitated, showing its teeth. "Up the ladder!"

Rosette scrambled to her feet and turned to bolt for the ladder, but she stopped and looked back. "What about you?"

"Never mind, I'll be alright," the golden monkey replied. "Quick now!"

Rosette scampered up the water tower like a squirrel with its tail on fire, feet slipping on slick rungs and her clothes clinging to her frame. The wind was picking up now, yowling through the trees like a dying cat, playing with her hair, whipping her ears about, and generally threatening to push her off the tower. Finally she reached the top, grabbing the edge of the Warner logo to pull herself up, and almost fell when it swung open like a door. It was about then that she remembered a trio of mad, sixteen-foot tall, fire-breathing, crazy, starving weasel monsters were said to reside in the Tower, and paused, wondering which fate was worse: facing whatever creatures were within the dark unknown, or waiting for the wolves to possibly eat her.

Suddenly, the Tower rumbled as the first wolf crashed into the ladder, opening its slavering mouth and releasing a wrenching, wailing howl into the night. Rosette's foot slipped and she let out a startled, dismayed cry as she tumbled backwards and down into that gaping, black maw—

And snapped to a jarring halt in midair. Shaking with nerves and shock, she opened her eyes and glanced down. One of the wolves jumped and snapped at her, his teeth grabbing at the air just beyond her toes. She yipped and pulled her feet up as something tugged at the scruff of her shirt, hauling her quickly upwards and into the recesses of the Warner Tower.

_To be continued…_

* * *

**Disclaimer: My rights to Roger and Jessica Rabbit do not exist. They do not exist. You do not exist. **

Hello. I've returned, as you can see. Thank you for all your patience in waiting for this installment, I know I've been away for a very long, _long_ time. I hope this rather intense chapter has made up for that, at least a little, and the next chapter will arrive shortly after, I promise. It would really be evil of me to leave you hanging with such a strange turn of events. No one's _that_ heartless.

So yes, you have now met Jenny, who will soon make an appearance once more in the current timeline, in 1965. For those of you who can't do math, that means Bugs is actually about twenty-five, chronologically speaking, in this story, and was sixteen when Honey disappeared. That would be based on the short _A Wild Hare_, when Bugs's character was truly "born." But of course, with toons, does age really matter?

And as for the golden monkey? You'll see.

That's all for now, folks.


	5. In Which Chaos Happens

**Looney Tunes**

**Hare Today, Gone Tomorrow**

**Chapter Five: In Which Chaos Happens**

* * *

Rosette landed unsteadily on her feet in the water tower, staggered, and promptly fell over. It was completely silent, but for the howling of the wind, and beyond the dim light from outside, the water tower was blacker than death.

"Er…Hello?" Rosette called, her voice echoing, when a very strange thing happened. Two toons leapt out or her ears. Rosette yelled, and jumped back from them, while a third rode in on an invisible unicycle—on the ceiling. She jumped down and landed like a professional athlete between the two who had just entered via the bunny's head. The tallest, a boy in baggy khaki's, held up the number nine. The other boy, wearing a sky blue sweater and red baseball cap, held up a rubber chicken of which he consequently ate.

They were very strange creatures, though perhaps the least tarrying monsters she'd ever seen. They looked like toons of the Bosko and Honey mold, all black but for their pure white faces and feet. As to what species they were, Rosette wasn't sure. They looked somewhat like cats, and somewhat like rabbits, and somewhat like dogs, all mashed together. Their ears were longish, their tails were bent, and their noses were very red.

And, at the present, they were now staring up at her with black button eyes. The two boys took one look at her, and changed instantly into Tex Avery wolves. Suddenly they were whistling themselves hoarse, hitting each other with mallets, and stamping holes into the floor.

"_Heeelllllooooooo Nurse!_" they howled in chorus, their hearts pounding a foot out of their chests, and without further ado, jumped into her arms. The one with the invisible unicycle, a girl in a little pink skirt and daisy scrunchie, stared at them as if to say, "I don't get it." She held a fishing pole, slung over her shoulder, which she'd apparently used to pull Rosette into the tower.

"Did ya miss us?" the khaki's boy asked. Rosette looked at him like he'd lost his mind. He probably had.

"I'm not a nurse, I'm a musician, and…Do I know you?" she asked.

"We're the Warner Brothers!" the two boys said, bounding down to stand before her.

"And the Warner Sister!" the girl piped up.

"I'm Yakko," khaki's said.

"I'm Wakko," baseball cap added.

"And I'm Dot, the impossibly cute one," the girl said, striking a pose.

"You guys are nuts…" Rosette muttered.

"No, we're loony, there's a difference ya know," Yakko informed her with a cheeky grin.

"_These_ are nuts," Wakko put in, and pulled a rope that seemed to have appeared from apparently nowhere. Rosette glanced up as a veritable avalanche of acorns, walnuts, coconuts, pistachios, cashews, chestnuts, peanuts, pecans, iron nuts, and hazels cascaded from the ceiling directly over her head.

Rosette guessed she had about three seconds to decide what to do before she was squashed flat under about five tons of assorted nuts. As it was, there were three options: A) step coolly to the side at the last second, B) make horrified faces and allow herself to be pulverized, or C) come up with some spectacular play on words to change the situation to her benefit. With two seconds to go, she settled on option C.

"Those aren't nuts," she observed calmly. "They're noten."

Upon the utterance of those words, the nuts instantly became a flood of post-it notes which fluttered harmlessly to the floor like so much snow. Rosette smiled, a trifle smugly, at the three astonished Warners while she brushed the post-its from her fur.

"Wait," Wakko said uncertainly. "What…?"

"It's simple logic, really. Nuts in English translates to noten in Dutch which in German equals notes. Great use of the languages, eh?" she grinned.

"My new best friend!" Yakko cried jovially, deeply amused, and slung an arm around her shoulders, positively beaming as if Christmas had come early. As Rosette would discover in her dealings with the Warner siblings, Yakko was the master of verbal war-fare, and it was not often that he found a like-mind. To say the least, he liked the rabbit more and more.

"You gotta name, kid?" Dot asked, also rather impressed.

"Name's Rosette, but all my friends call me R'ette," the bunny answered.

"Rosette, huh?" Yakko said, floating off the ground, hearts appearing in his eyes. "Say it loud and there's music playing…"

"Say it soft and it sounds like praying," Wakko added dreamily, his tongue lolling to the floor in a puddle of drool.

"Boys," Dot commented to Rosette, thumbing at her brothers. "Go figure."

Rosette started to laugh, and cried out when something crashed into the water tower so hard the entire thing shook to its core. She lost her footing and toppled to her knees.

"What was that?" Dot demanded.

"Oh, that monkey's still outside!" Rosette muttered as Yakko helped her up, and ran to the door. She pushed it open, and was immediately blown back by a powerful gust of wind; the storm was in full force now. The door slammed shut with a crash, sending shock waves through the room.

"Watch it!" Yakko warned.

"But he might need help," she protested, and tried the door again. This time she managed to keep it open, and peered out into the night, searching for her rescuer and the two wolves. Black figures moved in the dark, but she couldn't make them out in the rain. Awful snarls and screams sounded above the maelstrom, mingling with the crash of thunder. The sound of it made her fur stand on end. And then, through the baying of the wind, she heard a faint whistle—a single piercing note above the cacophony of the world. The shrieks stopped, and she thought she saw two black things bound off into the shadows, but she couldn't be sure.

"_Monkeeeey!_" she yelled. "Where are you!"

There was no answer, but for the storm's ravings. She scanned the night, but he was no where to be found, and eventually she had to shut the door once again.

"What was that about?" Yakko asked.

Rosette didn't answer at once; she stood thoughtfully, brows knitted, and wrung out her skirt. Wakko pulled a towel from what looked to be a gag-bag, and she took it appreciatively.

"I was being chased by these wolves," she explained finally. "They were toons, but…I think there was something wrong with them. They weren't right. I ran for the tower, but they would've had me if the golden monkey hadn't come."

"Golden monkey?"

"Yeah…I don't know who he was but, wow, he was amazing. Like something from a samurai flick."

"Someone's got a cru-ush!" Dot sang childishly.

"Do_not_!" Rosette cried, feigning juvenile embarrassment. "It's simply ridiculous." _Although..._a devilish thought whispered,_ It would drive Bugs up the wall, if not out of the building entirely._

"Oh, yeah?" Dot snorted. "Are ya positive about that?"

"Only fools are positive," Rosette sniffed dryly, then added on the sly, "I don't even have his number. Speaking of which, you wouldn't happen to have a phone, by any chance? I need to call Victoria, and make her come get me. I can't walk home now, when those things might still be out there."

"Sure, walk this way," Yakko said, walking on his ears to a Bugs Bunny phone sitting on a little table stand. His siblings went after him the same way, with Rosette walking behind; she refused to follow their example in a skirt.

"Thanks," she said, picking up the phone and ringing Victoria up. She was greeted by the answering machine: "Speeeeeaaaaak."

"Hey, Vicky, I need you to come get me as soon as possible. I'm kind of stranded because there are these big scary things outside, and I don't want to be eaten by them. Call me back at…" she paused and looked questioningly at Yakko.

"999-666-9999," he supplied.

"What, really? Okay then. Call me back at 999-666-9999," Rosette said, and paused. "Also, it's vitally important that you to pick up some more chocolate ice cream, I ate the last of it yesterday. Bye now." And she hung up.

"Do you mind if I wait here until she calls back?"

"Yeah, we do," Yakko said, shaking his head. Rosette raised a delicate eyebrow at his mixed signals, but she was used to that particular brand of sarcasm from Victoria.

"I see," she said, affecting a look of disappointment. "I guess I'll just have to brave the storm on my own, all alone with no one to protect me." She began to move tragically towards the door. "No, don't worry about me, I'll be fine out there all by myself. Don't think about what'll happen if those wolves come back, it won't be your fault if they tear me limb from limb and leave my poor, mangled body lying in a ditch somewhere…"

"Well, if you insist," Yakko shrugged.

"Why, thank you!" Rosette said cheerfully, and flopped on the couch as if she had heard the exact opposite.

"Well, while we're waiting I've got some questions for you," Dot said, pushing a chair in front of her and shining a light into her face. Suddenly the kid was in a dark business suit, wearing shades and a stony expression.

"Where were you on the night of October 12th, 1842?"

"I don't think I existed then," Rosette said, blinking.

"So you admit it!"

"Yeah, I guess so," she said, and shoved the light out of the way.

"Well, alright then. Next question: you know were this honey, dreamboat, lover monkey came from, and are you gonna talk, or do I have to get rough?"

"I'll never tell!" Rosette cried. "Because, you know, I have no idea about where he came from. Those wolves were waiting for me when I came out of the music studio, and the monkey just leapt out of nowhere, like…" she paused, her ears and whiskers twitching as she realized something. "What _was_ he doing there, anyway? It's like he was waiting for me, too."

"Like I should know, I'm the one asking questions here."

"Maybe it has something to do with…" Rosette began, but cut herself off.

"What is?"

"Well…You've heard of those toons that have gone missing?" she asked, shifting uncomfortably. The three Warners became uncharacteristically still, and nodded.

"Yeah, that's why we haven't wanted to come out," Yakko said. "That and we were sealed in here until you opened the door."

"Oh…really?" Rosette said, a little weakly, wondering what she'd unleashed upon the world. "Well, anyway, I think those wolves might have something to do with the Gobblers."

"They're called Gobblers, now?" Dot asked.

"Don't ask me why, but that's what everyone's calling them," Rosette shrugged. "These people gotta have a name, after all."

"It doesn't sound good, though, does it?" Yakko said.

Rosette shook her head, and looked up as the phone rang. All three siblings jumped up at once, all worries forgotten, and raced each other to answer it.

"I'll get it!" Yakko cried, grabbing the phone, but Dot jerked it out of his hands.

"No,_I'll_get it!" she insisted.

"It's my turn to get it!" Wakko protested. Thereafter a small war broke out between the three of them, in which the phone switched hands at least a dozen times before finally ending up back where it had started.

"That's it!" Yakko shouted, snapping his fingers and bringing Wakko and Dot to a dead stop, complete with screeching car brakes. "No one will get it!"

All three stared at the phone as it continued to ring, and lasted a total of three seconds before—"I'LL GET IT!"

"Hey, Vicky," Rosette greeted cheerfully, having snatched up the receiver before any of them could lay a finger on it, and nonchalantly twirled the chord around a finger while the Warners pouted. "I need a favor."

"So_you_ were the one that ate the last of the ice cream! I should have known!" Victoria accused angrily at the other end. "Oh…and what did you mean by big scary monsters? This isn't some sugar-induced hallucination, is it? Perhaps caused by the copious amounts of ice cream you've recently eaten, hm?"

"No, no, nothing like that," Rosette laughed. "I'm in the water tower, I'm soaking wet, and I've been traumatized by these big scary wolves. Two of them. Come pick me up."

"Well, darlin', you're in the water tower, of course you'll be all wet. You silly little thing you," Victoria smirked.

"Well, no, I'm not wet for quite that reason," Rosette laughed. "It's a long story."

"I'll bet."

"_Please_ come get me? I don't wanna go outside alone."

"Okay, okay…I'll be there in a minute."

"Thank you! See you later."

"Bye."

Rosette put the receiver down, and turned to the Warner siblings. "Thank you. I must impose on you for a little longer before my friend can get her tail over here," she said, smiling.

"Earlier, you said you were a musician?" Wakko asked eagerly, and she nodded. A huge grin spread across his face, and he grabbed her hand, dragging her towards a grand piano standing regally in the corner.

"You play this, right?" he asked, sitting her down on the bench.

"What did you have in mind?" she asked, cracking her knuckles and grinning at him. When Victoria arrived ten minutes later, they hardly heard her above the music that rocked the entire water tower. Rosette sat between the two boys, engaged in a fearsome duel with the both of them while Dot sat on top of the piano and sang _Singing in the Rain_ at the top of her lungs.

"Hey, R'ette, what was your guitar doing out in the rain?" Victoria called, holding up the rabbit's case.

"Oh no!" Rosette wailed, jumping up at once and rushing over to cradle her precious instrument. "I completely forgot about it!"

"_Heeelllloooo Nurse!_" Yakko and Wakko yowled, throwing themselves into the vixen's arms.

"Aw, you're so darn _cute_!" Victoria cried, and planted a big kiss on Yakko's cheek, much to his surprised pleasure. Wakko, feeling left out, cheekily presented his own suggestively.

"Sorry, darling," Victoria grinned, tweaking his nose. "I only give out five of those a day for free and that was my last one. If I gave you one, you'd owe me a quarter."

Wakko hopped down and searched his pockets, but all he came up were a few moths and a rather shiny button. "Aw, shucks," he groused, and went somewhere to pout.

"You know, I'm supposed to be the cute one," Dot pointed out, crossing her arms.

"Oh, you are but he jumped me first," Victoria said, indicating Yakko, who was currently swooning in her arms like a giddy fangirl. "I like your daisy, though, that has to be the most adorable thing I've ever seen, only followed by R'ette's darling little cotton tail!"

"It_is_ cute, isn't it?" R'ette said, and twisted around to admire it. "Well, anyway, Victoria meet the Warner siblings—"

"I'm Yakko!"

"I'm Wakko!"

"And I'm cute!" Dot gushed.

"A pleasure," Victoria smiled. "Now, what's this I hear about big scary things after you?"

"I'll tell you on the way home," Rosette replied, and grinned at the Warners. "Thanks for letting me stay, and all. I'm sure I'll be seeing you around, now that I know _you_ aren't big scary monsters."

"Who says we're not big scary monsters?" Wakko asked, puffing himself up to ten times his regular size, and leered evilly down at her. Rosette pulled out a pin and stuck it in his nose, at which he flew around the room, accompanied by a stream of rude noises.

He floated down to earth a few moments later, flat as a pancake, but stuck his thumb in his mouth and blew himself back to normal. Then from behind his back he pulled a huge mallet and held it out to Rosette. She stared at it blankly.

"What's this for?"

"To smack those baddies outside, o'course, if they come back to give ya trouble," Wakko replied, as if this were the most obvious thing in the world, and winked at her.

"Hey, thanks a lot, Wakko," Rosette said gratefully, took the mallet and stuck it in her pocket where it shrunk down to size for convenient carrying. He just gave her a dopey smile in return. She smiled back, patted his head (he melted on the spot) and followed the vixen out the water tower, where Victoria's old Volkswagen was waiting. Yakko, Wakko, and Dot waved from the door as the two toons climbed in and drove away.

Exactly fifty-two seconds later, they pulled up at Rosette's apartment, and Rosette moved to hop out when Victoria grabbed her hand.

"Next time something like that happens," she said, grinning lecherously, "Get that monkey's number."

"Good night, Vic," Rosette laughed, waving her on.

"Take care!" she called before Rosette shut the door, waving goodbye, and waited until the little bunny was inside before hitting the gas and speeding off. Rosette climbed wearily up the stairs, yawning and fishing her keys out of her pocket, until finally coming to her room on the third floor.

"Home at last," she murmured softly, closing the door behind her, and flopped face down on the couch. "What a night…"

"Heh, you're tellin' me."

Rosette cried out in surprise and shot nearly eight feet in the air as none other than Bugs Bunny hit the lights.

_To be continued…_

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Animaniacs or the Looney Tunes or the 'Gobblers' idea, which originally came from Phillip Pullman's **_**His Dark Materials**_**. But neither do you, so there. Nyah-nyah.**

Well, I promised this chapter would be soon, didn't I? The next one should follow right after, since I've already written it and all. This one took me a little longer, it was hard trying to capture the Warner's personalities, but I hope I did a good job. They'll probably be showing up again, so look forward to that.

That's all for now, folks.


	6. Declaration War!

**Looney Tunes**

**Hare Today, Gone Tomorrow**

**Chapter Six: Declaration War!**

**

* * *

**

Rosette whipped out her mallet faster than the business end of a traveling dip-tipped bullet before the marbles in her head had the chance to knock around and inform her it was only Bugs Bunny leaning nonchalantly against the wall like he owned the place. He glanced up from her copy of _Calvin and Hobbes_.

"Ehhh, what's up doll?" he asked, munching a carrot. "Kinda jumpy, aren't you?"

"What are you doing in here?" she demanded, stowing the mallet in a pocket for further reference and leveling a glare at him that could have toasted an entire loaf of pumpernickel. After such a harrowing night, he was the last person she wanted to see.

"Reading, what's it look like?" he quipped, indicating her book. "I like what you've done wid de place, by de way." He waved at her apartment, and the veritable jungle of books covering every inch of floor. A mountain of sheet music littered the table, leaving a small space for her to eat and nothing more. "I needed a machete to get t'rough it all."

"How'd you get in here?" Rosette asked. "Through the mail slot?"

"I still have my old key," he said, fishing into his furry pocket and retrieving a key identical to the one she kept hidden under the doormat. "I, heh, 'lost' it a couple years ago, but den just recently found da t'ing again. Convenient, ain't it?"

"Quite," Rosette said faintly, and wishing she hadn't told him she was rooming in the same pad he had. "Haven't you ever heard of the sanctity of the home?"

"Not dis close to Toontown, toots," he grinned.

She couldn't argue there. She nodded to the door, instead. "Now that you've demonstrated that point, will you leave now?"

"Come on, don't be like dat, doll."

"I'm not your doll, or your toots, or honey, or anything else," Rosette replied, beginning to lose her temper. "I've just had a very strange night, and I'd appreciate it if you weren't here."

An odd expression passed through the grey bunny's eyes at the word 'honey', but it vanished as quickly as it had come. "Sorry, Rosette," he said apologetically. "Your friend called me."

"My friend?" she repeated. "You mean Victoria?"

"Yeah," he replied. "She sounded pretty upset, was wonderin' if you were wid me, or if I knew where you were. I t'ink she went out lookin' for ya."

"That's why she didn't answer her phone…" Rosette murmured, with a small pang of guilt.

"Well, I t'ought it might be a good idea to come here, in case you were just late gettin' off work. Good t'ing it toined out alright, it would've been a shame for somet'ing ta happen to a poitty trick like you," he said, and gave her a mischievously lecherous grin. "You wanna slip outta dose wet t'ings and in ta somet'ing more comfoitable? A dry martini, perhaps?"

Rosette didn't think for an instant that he cared a whit for her—other than for what was beneath her dress—despite his affectations of concern. Needless to say, his eyes were dancing the _Macarena_ across her niceties, and obviously liked what they saw. It was something she was used to by now, and while it did not go unappreciated, she'd quickly grown tired of constantly being ogled by wanton males of any persuasion, toon or otherwise.

She was well aware that to him she was just another skirt. He was a Casanova, through and through. He broke a new heart everyday, and although many a girl wished they could travel his way, Rosette played a different tune. Like her mother, she was a one-bunny girl—but if Bugs was going to rove, and rove he would, he could expect her not to wait up for him. Rosette brought herself up to her full height of three-foot-five, and pointed to the door. "Out, you tramp."

"_Tramp_?" Bugs repeated indignantly. "I'll have you know I've the biggest flat dis side of Beverly Hills."

"Not that sort of tramp," she corrected. "A rover, a rounder, a scoundrel, a skirt-chaser. I know your game, little Play-Bunny, and I assure you, I'm not playing. I'll likely get dirty, real quick."

"Is _dat_ all you're worried about?" he cried, and spread his hands. "Getting' your hands doity? Well, no need to fret, dere ain't no dame could top you, kid! You're one-of-a-kind."

"What a dog, you are," Rosette snorted. "You'll try any line, won't you? Well, you're not so hot as you think you are, and I'm not biting. So reel in your bait and get lost!"

"I ain't so hot, eh?" he said, and abruptly zipped up next to her, sweeping her off her feet in one fell swoop. "Here's lookin' at you, kid," he grinned cheekily, in a rather good impression of Humphrey Bogart, and before she could do a thing he landed one of his trademark smackeroos right on the kisser.

Rosette gagged. Then she pulled out her mallet and brought it down on his hapless head, squashing him like so many insects.

"You're really starting to bug me, Bunny," she said, after a furious bout of spitting and washing her mouth out with disinfectant. Bugs twitched for a bit, then smiled innocently up at her.

"Now was dat really necessary?"

"Yes. Yes it was."

"Kinky. I didn't know ya went for that masochism stuff. Want me ta wear dese?" he asked, holding up a pair of handcuffs, at which Rosette stared in complete bewilderment. "Dough, I don't know how far dis relationship will last if ya insist on bein' so rough."

"_What_ relationship?" Rosette demanded. "If you hadn't noticed, I'm not interested, so what will it take for you to _leave_?"

"Kid, you're talkin' to Bugs Bunny, did you know?" he asked, completely unable to comprehend why she would play hard to get so fervently. "Any oddah dame would kill for even a fling, and I'm offering you much more. What's de dish, doll? You gotta sweetheart I don't know about? Are you gay?"

"What _is_ it with you?" Rosette all but shrieked. "Clear out the fuzz in your ears, I want absolutely _nothing_ to do with you, and not because I like someone else, and not because I'm gay! You're a womanizer, you're arrogant, you're probably selfish and flighty, and you don't know when to stop! You're nothing but a no count actor!"

"I take it you're speaking from experience?" Bugs asked bitingly, up in arms and hopping mad. She gave him an awful look, and he instantly regretted it.

"You think just because you're a big star you're better than anyone else," she growled. "Well, I've got news for you, pal: you're not. Why don't you get off your high horse, and give a girl respect for once?"

"Yeah? Why should I? You dames are all alike, anyway," he snapped. "Never happy widout your precious diamonds, doll. And what's your lofty mission in life dat lets you sneer at my humble profession? Oh right, you're a piano player."

Rosette clenched her fists furiously, her hackles raised, teeth bared. "I'm not just a piano player! I'm…"

"You're what?" Bugs jeered.

"I'm an actress! On stage!" she burst out.

"Oh, really?" he snorted. "What are you in right now? I'd like to see ya act—dat is, if dey'd let in a _movie_ actor, Miss High an' Mighty."

"I'm not in anything right now," she evaded. "But I will be. I'm going to New York and—"

"Oh, you're going to New York! And someone day we'll all hear of you, won't we? Rosette Rabbit as Juliet, as Lady Macbed, as King Lear—you'll have ta wear a beard for dat one."

"Laugh all you want, but at least the stage is a dignified profession."

"_Dignified_ profession," Bugs scoffed.

"Unlike your little cartoons—if you've seen one you've seen them all, so what've you got to be so conceited about? At least I'm not just some puppet reading lines, doing the same act over and over," she snarled, her voice so dripping with venom it burned a hole through the floor, and the floor downstairs, and the one blow that, straight into the cellar and three kilometers into the surface of the earth.

"Hey, dem's fightin' words!" Bugs growled, looming over her menacingly.

"Yeah, they're fighting words!" Rosette snapped back. "You're just a shadow of what happens on stage, a shadow! You're not ink and paint!"

"Oh, no?" he asked, moving amorously towards her, and pinning her against the door.**_  
_**

"Stop!"**_  
_**

"What can I do ta you, I'm only a shadow?"

"Just because you've got fame and money, swimming pools, big parties, you think every girl will fall at a dead faint at your feet! Well don't you touch me!" Rosette barked, shoving him away. **_  
_**

"Oh, don't worry your poitty little head," he sneered loftily. "I will not molest you, for I am but a humble jester, and you—you are too high above me. Fear not, milady, for I must fly now from your side!"

"Yes, please do," she growled, and opened the doorknob with a jerk, so suddenly he staggered out into the hallway and tumbled all the way down the stairs. "Happy landings and good riddance!" she shouted after him, and slammed the door so hard it shook the entire landing.

Bugs lay upside down at the bottom of the stairs, legs splayed out at a ninety degree angle, his head spinning as he tried to get his bearings. Then he crossed his arms, and glared up in the direction of Rosette's room.

"You realize _dis_ means war."

_To be continued…_

_

* * *

_

**Disclaimer: I wished I owned Bugs Bunny. Sadly, I do not. What a crying shame.**

Well, by now you can probably tell where the next few chapters will be going. Oh yes, and I'm definitely going _there_. Where that is I don't know, but you can bet I'll go there anyway. And if you're wondering, yes, that argument _is_ reminiscent of the one in _Singing in the Rain_, one of my favorite movies of all time. This chapter was as much of a homage to that, as it was in setting up more plot twists. Oh, and trust me, there will be many more twists to come—one of which I know for a fact will blow your mind.

Also, I'm going to hold Daffy at gunpoint with this pistol until you review. It's quite simple. Just push that little review button, it ain't hard. Come on, do your country a favor and give it a shot! You know you want to. I know you want to. So stop deluding yourself and do it. C'mon, do it, do it! Push that button! Type those reviews! CHOP, CHOP!

Thank you.

Unil I write again.


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